Legal Notice: Attention Adventurous Motorcycle Riders!

In the wild pursuit of adrenaline-fueled adventures on two wheels, we present to you this rib-tickling yet totally serious legal notice:

Helmet Hair Disclaimer: We, the undersigned, acknowledge that after removing our helmets, we may suffer from the affliction commonly known as "helmet hair." Any and all attempts to rectify said situation, including but not limited to, comb-overs, fluffing, and excessive hair products, shall be undertaken at our own risk.

Bug Splatter Agreement: In the pursuit of high-speed thrills, we understand that our faces may become intimate with various flying insects. By participating in this motorcycle ride, we hereby waive all rights to complain about bug splatter and agree to embrace it as a badge of honor.

Wheelie Warranty: It is understood that the urge to perform wheelies and other stunts may be irresistible. However, we hereby declare that any unintended dismounts, failed wheelies, or accidental stunts gone wrong shall not hold the organizers liable for potential embarrassment, injury, or damage to one's ego.

Roadside Snack Clause: In the event of a pit stop for snacks, coffee, or other refreshments, participants shall maintain a level of decorum befitting of an adventurous motorcycle rider. This includes but is not limited to: no 'filter coffee' urgencies, no 'samosa' crumbs on the jackets, 'no, it's  too spicy' comments and absolutely no debates on the superiority of different motorcycle brands.

Weather Whimsy Warning: Mother Nature is notorious for her unpredictability - and for our participation to environmental damage, KARMA gives it on almost every trip. Participants acknowledge that rain, hail, or sunshine may disrupt our adventure. In such cases, we agree to don our gear, seek shelter, suck it up or perform an impromptu interpretive dance to appease the weather gods.

Comedic Crash Disclaimer: While we encourage laughter and camaraderie, we solemnly swear not to laugh uncontrollably at a fallen comrade (unless they give us explicit permission to do so). In the spirit of humanness, we shall offer assistance, moral support, and a shoulder to cry on if needed - we will wipe off the drools very soon and may have a smurk post this - this is being human again.

Legal Jargon Jamboree: By signing below, we absolve the organizers, fellow riders, and anyone remotely associated with this adventure from any legal repercussions resulting from our own foolishness, bravado, or sheer stupidity.

Trip Metrics Measured and Reported regardless of your approval;

Bug Splatter Coefficient (BSC): The number of bugs that meet their unfortunate end on your helmet visor per 100kms ridden. A higher BSC suggests you're either a fearless speedster or just a stink attractor.

Animal Evasion Index (AEI): A measure of your adeptness at dodging roadkill who seem determined to dodge life and death with your line of ride. High AEI indicates nimble reflexes; low AEI suggests you might need to work on your critter-avoidance skills.

Helmet Hair Index (HHI): The severity of your post-ride helmet hair, measured on a scale from "mildly disheveled" to "you might want to invest in a hat." Extra points if you can still make it look intentional. Our advice - take a 2,2,2 on all of 360D of your headular surface before you don a helmet. This will probably give you a perfect score. 

Puddle Jumping Proficiency (PPP): How skillfully you navigate through puddles during rainy rides without soaking your boots or inadvertently giving nearby pedestrians an impromptu shower. A high PPP is both impressive and practical.

Wheelie Giggle Factor (WGF): The level of uncontrollable laughter induced by successful (or failed) attempts at pulling off wheelies. The louder the giggles, the higher your WGF—and possibly the greater the need for a wheelie control system.

No-Responsibility Disclaimer

Welcome, fellow riders, to the ultimate adventure on two wheels! Before we rev those engines and hit the road, let's lay down some ground rules. Firstly, when it comes to maintaining your motorcycle, we trust you've got it covered. Oil changes, tire pressure checks, general maintenance, etc. are all your responsibility. In short: ‘That's your job, not ours’. We can offer some on the fly fixes if the group get’s stuck, but our advice is do not listen to us. You make your own decision; we assist with the fix.  

Now, about those road risks—it's like playing a real-life game of Mario Kart, except the banana peels are potholes, road-kill that are F*C%!4G still moving and the blue shells are, well, actual shells (courtesy of Australia's diverse wildlife). Dodging kangaroos, koalas, eagles and navigating those hairpins are all again your skill and responsibility? Consider it your daily dose of adrenaline-fueled yoga.

And speaking of protection, let's talk gear. We're talking helmets, jackets, gloves—the whole nine yards. Because let's face it, road rash is never a good look. Plus, who doesn't want to feel like a badass superhero as they conquer the outback?

Also keep your weather gods happy. We just ride – rain, hail or snow, we just ride. The protection or gear we talk about is a good start to make the trip more enjoyable. If you wish to stop, you stop. Do not ask us. If we feel like turning around, we might. Else, you will get a map on how to return yourself to your mommy. We might cancel rides on our own thought or you might wish to cancel it, let’s talk this through and make alternative arrangements – it’s as simple as this. 

Now, onto the legal spiel. By joining our tour, you're waving goodbye to any notions of finger-pointing and blame games. We're just a bunch of motorcycle enthusiasts with a knack for planning epic road trips. Liability? That's about as elusive as finding a four-leaf clover in a haystack.

So, saddle up, strap in, and get ready for the ride of your life! Just remember, when it comes to adventure, the only limits are the ones you set for yourself. Oh, and don't forget to pack your sense of humor—it's gonna be a good life.